I haven’t been able to comment much on this whole pandemic situation and the reason is, that I know everybody is handling this differently. I see so many posts telling people how they should be once the isolation is over, or what they should be doing during this time, or whoever checks on them through this are “real ones” and my heart just aches. With or without social media, you never truly know what someone is going through within their household, within their relationships or within themselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually. We can’t tell people what to do, how to feel, or who to be. If you use this time to better yourself - AMAZING. If you use this time to just be and take it one day at a time - AMAZING. You know yourself best, and you matter, so whatever makes you feel good and brings you joy during this time - DO IT! All I can do is what I love - write, and tell you about my personal experiences and share my thoughts.
You know, one of the biggest things my dad would tell us over and over is how valuable and precious time is. And it’s something we hear and see quotes about everywhere, but how many of us actually live by it? We really do all have the same 24 hours in a day, and what we do with those hours truly does matter, but it’s easy to get caught up in procrastination, laziness, social media scrolling, and binge-watching. Which is why my word for 2020 has been INTENTIONAL. Being intentional with how I was spending my time, who I was spending it with, what I was doing etc. was it filling my tank or draining it?
These past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions in my life. I constantly think about how on a Friday night, I’m sitting down laughing with my dad over a Mcdonald's burger, and the next morning he’s gone. Just like that. I think about how a virus has shut down the entire world - literally. But I also think about how today is day 52 in isolation and how fast time has gone. Before this, I was constantly a busy person. I never liked to sit still in one place, always on the move and once home I would fill my weeks with classes, gym, workshops, etc. but to be forcibly in my house now, I was left to face the reality of dealing with anything I was running from. When you think of life before all of this happened, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who was constantly busy, you see how it’s so easy to fill our schedules, say yes to events, to pick up and go here or there, but sometimes that busyness can lead to an empty tank and leave us distracted to what matters most in our lives.
Because of my growing relationship with God, and the faith and trust I have in Him, I have to say throughout this whole ordeal, I’ve felt at peace. What God has done for me this past year is beyond amazing (that will have to be another post in itself), but recently I made a list of priorities/goals in my life, with God being at the top followed by family, friends, and so on, then I made another list of how I spend my days and my time; and both lists didn’t match up. It made me stop and think about where and what I was investing all my time and energy in.
For me, this isolation has been a blessing in disguise. It’s given me the reset I think I needed in my life. To take a step back and deal with any hurt or negative emotions I was trying to bury, to become fully comfortable alone and build that relationship with myself and to be reminded of what the foundation of my life is built on. You see, there is a parable in the bible of a builder who didn’t listen to the word of God and built their house on sand, and one who followed the word of God and built their house on rock. Once the rain and floods came and the wind blew, the house built on sand - fell. (Matthew 7:24-47)
What the foundation of our life is means everything. Sand can be interpreted as worldly/material things. Sure I was happy traveling here and there attending this and that, meeting people, but this pandemic literally shows you that everything can be taken away in an instant. Some people find their identity and build their whole life around their careers, their relationship/marriage, their kids, friendships, or some people become dependent on certain activities or even experiences to fill their life, but all of those things are ever-changing, always moving. Just like that - jobs are lost, airports & cruises shut down, businesses are closed, events are canceled and in those moments - what anchors you?
I’m forever grateful that I surrendered my life to Christ because I know His word, who He says I am, and His love for me is unchanging, unwavering, and everlasting. Whether you believe in God or not, as circumstances in this life change by the minute, if you don’t have a steady foundation, something that stabilizes you, things are going to fall and you are going to be thrown around with everything as it comes and goes. This is why I believe I’ve felt so at peace lately, because of my faith, as everything around me is uncertain, God’s love and plan for my life is beyond doubt.
I’ve been able to appreciate time so much more amongst other things throughout this isolation, and whatever you’ve been doing, or choose to do with your quarantine time - I pray it helps you, heals you, brings you joy and that it fills your tank.